


Through the Years

by bluemadridista



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Babies, Drama, Established Relationship, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 04:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7251412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemadridista/pseuds/bluemadridista
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sernando talking about children through the years.</p><p>Or, Sergio being an angsty bastard while Fernando populates the world with Olalla.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through the Years

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in 300 years, so go easy on me. >

Sernando + Kids Through the Years

2001

“I never want to have kids,” Sergio said as he watched the kids that Fernando had roped him into babysitting run around the backyard screaming at each other.

In his opinion, it was too hot to be anywhere, but at the beach, swimming in the sea. The kids thought it was the best time to run around and scream at the top of their lungs. And Fernando seemed happy to let them do it.

Sergio was tense in his lounge chair while Fernando was the picture of serenity beside him, lounging back with one arm over his eyes; the other extended over to Sergio’s back where his index finger would periodically trace circles on his tan skin.

“You’re fifteen,” Fernando mumbled, tracing a circle on the small of Sergio’s back. “You don’t know what you want.”

“Oh, and you do? Because you’re seventeen, so much older than me?”

Fernando laughed. “I’m old enough to know that you know nothing.”

Sergio smacked his arm away from his eyes. Fernando blinked and looked up at him. A smile played on his lips.

“I know things,” Sergio grumped.

Sergio smiled fully. “Sure, you do. I bet you’ll change your mind though. Just wait.”

 

2007

“Thanks for coming to my family Christmas with me, Nando,” Sergio said, hugging his longtime friend in front of the gigantic Christmas tree in his mother’s den.

“Of course. How could I pass up the chance to spend Christmas with you?”

Sergio tightened his hold on him a little. “You’ve been seeing a lot of that girl lately. I thought…”

“Olalla,” Fernando interjected. “I… I like her, but I don’t think it’s too serious. We’re not going to be spending Christmases together.”

Sergio thought he was very wrong about that. He saw the way that Fernando looked at her when he didn’t think anyone was looking. He swore that no matter who else he was with, he would always love Sergio most, but he was sure that he had some competition with Olalla.

“You might change your mind.”

Fernando laughed, and pulled away from Sergio’s tight hug. “I remember when I used to the be the one telling you that all the time.”

“Yeah, well I’m not a teenager anymore, am I?”

“Just barely. You’re only twenty-one, and I’m still old enough to know that you know nothing.”

“Shut up.” Sergio smacked his arm.

Fernando just laughed and stared at the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree for a few moments. “So, has Daniela changed your mind about having kids?”

“Why would having a niece change my mind about having my own kids?”

Fernando looked away from the tree to meet Sergio’s eyes. “I see the way you look at her when you hold her,” he said with a teasing smile on his face. “You are in love with that baby girl.”

“Of course, I am. She’s my niece, and I’ll spoil her until she’s eighty years old, but that doesn’t mean I want one of my own.”

Fernando chuckled and shook his head. “I still think you’ll change your mind.”

“Well, you’re wrong.”

 

2009

_It’s a girl. We named her Nora._

That was all the text from Fernando said. Sergio sighed and tossed his phone onto the empty side of his bed, the side that hadn’t been filled with Fernando’s body in almost a year. Two years before, he had predicted that Fernando would get closer to Olalla. And so he had. So close that they were married a year after that prediction, and now had a little girl. Nora.

 

_Nora is a month old today. You still haven’t seen her. You should come by._

The text came in the early hours of the morning. Too early for a summer Sunday. Sergio ignored it, and placed his phone – screen down – on the table beside his hotel room bed.

How presumptuous of Fernando to just assume that he’s in Madrid. How would he know? They haven’t spoken more than three words in almost a year.

Wouldn’t Fernando be shocked if he knew that he was actually lying naked in a Marbella hotel room with a guy ten times hotter than him?

Maybe. But he wouldn’t care, would he? He had his perfect wife, and little girl. He didn’t need Sergio anymore.

 

_Sergio. It’s been five months since my child was born, and I haven’t gotten even a text from you. What’s going on? It’s Christmas. Call me._

Sergio stared at his phone, thinking of the previous Christmas. He had invited Fernando to celebrate Christmas with his parents. Fernando had declined immediately. Blowing off your girlfriend to spend Christmas with your boyfriend was one thing. Blowing off your pregnant wife to spend Christmas with your boyfriend(?) was another entirely.

Not only had Fernando blown him off, that was the night that he told him Olalla was pregnant. He told him with a giddy laugh like Sergio should be so happy. Like the impending birth of Fernando’s child should have been a Christmas gift for Sergio.

Sergio had muttered an apology, and made an excuse to hang up. His mother needed his help, or something. He hadn’t even been at his family’s place yet.

He and Fernando hadn’t spoken or seen each other since. They conversed only in these text messages. Mostly one-sided with Fernando doing all the talking.

_It’s a girl._

_We named her Nora._

_Nora is a month old today._

_It’s been five months since the birth of my child._

_It’s Christmas._

_Call me._

 

2010

“Why do I feel like if we weren’t competing in the World Cup together, we never would have spoken to each other?” Fernando asked when he encountered Sergio for the first time at their first Spain training session.

“I’ve been busy.” Sergio shrugged his shoulders.

“For two years?”

“You’ve been busy too. Populating the world.”

Olalla was three months pregnant with their second child. He didn’t know for sure, but Fernando thought it was a boy.

_The appointment is next month, but I think it’s a boy! I’m so excited._

That gem had come a week before. Sergio had thrown his brand new phone (he lost the one before in a taxi) and broken it into a million pieces against the bedroom wall.

“Are you mad at me for having a baby, Sergio?”

“Why would I be?”

“I don’t know. Your comment just now. The fact that you are my best friend in this world, and you still haven’t seen my baby girl! She’ll be a year old in two months!”

“I saw the picture you sent to my mother. She’s a pretty little girl. Looks like Olalla. Lucky for her.”

Fernando scoffed, and slapped Sergio’s arm. “I can have Olalla bring her if you want to meet her. Please say you’ll meet her.”

“I don’t want to see Olalla or the way you look at her or the way you look at the child the two of you created,” Sergio thought miserably. “But he could never refuse Fernando when he was begging right in front of his face. Texts were so much easier to ignore than that freckled face.

“Sure.”

 

“She’s really beautiful, Nando,” Sergio said as he handed Nora back to him. Fernando handed her off to Olalla who would be taken her home for dinner.

“I’m glad that you finally met her. I really thought that you didn’t want to meet her.” Fernando made this confession after he kissed his daughter and wife goodbye. Sergio tried not to hate him for doing that.

 

_IT IS A BOY! HIS NAME IS LEO! I’M SO HAPPY!_

Twenty days before Christmas.

Too close to his favorite holiday for Sergio to be so depressed.

He picked up the bottle of wine he had been nursing since that afternoon when Fernando sent him a text that read, _Olalla is in labor! We’re at the hospital. I had to miss my match, but I don’t even care!!_

He didn’t care about missing his match, and he didn’t care about Sergio anymore.

He finished the bottle of wine, and picked up his phone to reply to Fernando’s text.

_Ask me again if I want to have kids. No. I’ll never have kids. Because you had them without me._

He stared at the screen and then threw his phone at the wall without pressing send.

 

2012

“Sese!” Fernando jumped onto Sergio’s back.

Sergio groaned, and shook him off. “You’re gonna kill me!”

Fernando laughed and hugged him tight. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! I miss you so much!”

Sergio sighed, and allowed himself to hug him back. He had missed him too. They had only seen each other three times since the birth of Leo. Sergio found that he missed him even more each time they saw each other, so he avoided him. It was fairly easy with Fernando off in England.

But the Euros had brought them back together.

“How are you?” Sergio asked in lieu of admitting that he missed him too.

“Good!” Fernando pulled away. “Nora will be three soon, you know? She’s so smart already! She talks so much, and speaks English almost better than I do.” He laughed. “Leo is almost two. Well, one and half. He’s smart too. He can walk really well, and he’s talking a little. His first word was Papa, did I tell you that?”

_Leo said his first word today!! Papa! I’m so happy!_

“Yeah, you did,” Sergio muttered, forcing the smile to stay on his face.

Fernando giggled. “I was so happy! How are you? You look good! More tattoos.”

“You too.”

“I look good, or you noticed the new tattoos?”

“The tattoos. You look awful as always. Your kids are lucky they look their mother.”

Fernando planted his hands on hips, and glared at Sergio. “Leo looks just like me, and you said he was adorable!”

“Poor kid. I was being nice.”

Fernando slapped his chest. “You’re an idiot.”

“I must be.”

“So… Have you changed your mind yet?”

“About what?”

“Having kids of your own.”

Sergio clenched his jaw. “I’m never having kids.”

Fernando frowned. “I wish you’d change your mind, Sese. You’d make a great father.”

Sergio imagined what it would be like to punch Fernando in the face.

 

2013

Fernando was on the couch watching _Finding Nemo_ for the 800 th time with Leo when his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket. Olalla was out shopping with Nora, so he was shocked when her name wasn’t on the ID.

“Sergio?” he answered. They hadn’t spoken much since Sergio became involved with Pilar. Frankly, Fernando had been surprised when Sergio had become so involved with her, with a woman at all. He always assumed that Sergio would be one of the first in the sport to come out. He had never known him to be very interested in women. For most of his life, Fernando had never known him to be interested in anyone besides him.

While Fernando was very sure that he was bisexual, he had always been just as sure that Sergio was 100% gay. Maybe he’d been wrong. Or maybe this relationship was just a cover for his sexuality.

“Fernando. I need your help.”

“What? Um, hold on.” Fernando glanced down at his son who had fallen asleep just a few minutes after Nemo had touched the butt. “Let me put Leo in bed, and I’ll call you right back.”

“Fine.” Sergio hung up the phone, only slightly angry at the fact that Fernando was putting his other life ahead of him, _again_. Always.

Only slightly angry, because he’d been doing the same to him since he met Pilar. Before Pilar, he had very little interest in women. He never thought he’d actually want to have a relationship with one, that was sure. But Pilar was different. She accepted him for who he was. She saw that he was damaged, but didn’t try to fix him. The other women he had known always wanted to fix everything, to make everything the way they thought it should be. She didn’t judge him for still being hung up on Fernando, for hating that he’d made a family without him, for being unable to look at the pictures of Fernando’s children that he sent in text messages and shared on Facebook. All the time. He understood that she’d only ever have half of his heart, and she didn’t fight for the other half. It was broken beyond repair.

Sergio almost dropped the phone when it rang in his hand. Fernando returning his call, just as he’d promised. Fernando was always good at keeping promises. Unless, they were big. He had broken the biggest one of all. When they were still teens, he’d promised Sergio that they’d be together forever.

Right.

“Fernando?”

“Sorry, I had to put the baby down. He fell asleep watching _Finding Nemo_. It’s his favorite movie, but he barely ever makes it…”

“Fernando!” He didn’t have time to hear about Fernando’s perfect child and his favorite Disney movies.

Silence filled the call for a moment. “Sorry,” Fernando finally said. “You said you needed my help. What’s up?”

“I’m in trouble.”

“Trouble?! What kind of trouble? Are you in jail? Did you sleep with another married man?”

“That was one time! And I didn’t know he was married! And I did his wife a favor anyway. She was married to a gay man who just used her to make himself appear straight.”

Fernando shook his head. “Are you in jail?” he asked again.

“I’m not in jail. Do you think so little of me? Have I ever been in jail?”

“No, but I don’t know. I have barely spoken to you in five years, Sergio. I don’t know your life anymore.”

“Well, I haven’t changed so much that I sleep with married men regularly or go to jail!”

“Okay, so what’s wrong?”

“It’s Pilar.”

“She found out you’re gay?”

“She knows I’m…” Sergio made a little growling noise. “I’m not gay!”

“We’ve just been talking about you sleeping with men…”

“Yeah, well I slept with you, and now you’re married to a woman with two kids, so…”

“I’m bisexual.”

“Well, maybe I am too.” Sergio didn’t like labels. He didn’t know what to do with him. He had never been one to categorize his feelings. He liked men, a lot. He liked women, sort of, a little. He liked Pilar a lot, and she was a woman. So. He still didn’t know which letter in the LGBTQ-whatever that he was. He didn’t care.

“Okay. I’m sorry. Did Pilar break up with you?”

“No.”

“So, what’s wrong?”

“She… She’s pregnant.”

Fernando’s eyes widened. Up to that point, he had been so sure that Sergio hadn’t had sex with her. He wouldn’t.

“So, she cheated on you?”

“WHAT?!”

“Is that the problem?”

“WHAT?! WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT? WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THAT SHE CHEATED AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS PREGNANT? DID I ASK YOU IF YOUR WIFE CHEATED WHEN YOU TOLD ME SHE WAS PREGNANT?!”

“You didn’t say anything to me when I told you my wife was pregnant. You’ve barely said a word to me since I told you my wife was pregnant, in fact.”

“It was a mistake to call you.”

“Sergio.”

“Goodbye, Fernando.”

 

2014

_It’s a boy. I called him Sergio, Jr._

_Congratulations, Sergio. I won’t say I told you so.  
Remember what I always told you though: You’ll make a great father._

Sergio’s 80th iPhone went flying across the hospital waiting room. Thank goodness, Sergio Jr. came in the middle of the night, and not a soul was around to see it.

Why couldn’t Fernando have the decency to be the slightest bit upset?

Fernando stared at his phone after he sent the text message. He didn’t expect to hear back from Sergio. He had never been the greatest at texting. It had only gotten worse since their relationship had withered.

That had been his fault. He had been the one that fell in love with someone else, and started a family.

When they were in their early twenties, and late teens, Fernando would always ask Sergio if he thought he’d want kids one day. What he never bothered to say was that he wanted kids someday… with Sergio. Why had he given up on that dream so easily?

 

2015

_It’s another girl. We named her Elsa.  
Nora says she’s even prettier than the Frozen princess._

_Another boy for me. His name is Marco.  
He’s even prettier than Reus._

2016

“Why is it the Euros that’s always bringing us back together?” Fernando asked.

“Just luck, I guess.” Sergio had to fight to keep a straight face. Fernando’s baby freckle face made him want to smile. He looked the same as he did when they were young. It was hard to believe that he was thirty-two. Sergio could see the signs of thirty on his face, but age hadn’t touched Fernando. An ache wormed into his stomach. Fernando had always been too beautiful.

“You’re looking well,” Fernando said. _Well._ That was the edited version. He kept what he wanted to say locked up in his mind. _Beautiful, handsome, too damn good._

“I am well. The baby is finally getting to the age where he sleeps well, and isn’t so fussy.”

Fernando laughed. “Yeah. Elsa is at that age too. She’s just a sweet princess now.”

Hearing about Fernando’s perfect children and family still hurt, but now that he had his own kids, he had no right to be upset, did he? “What do your other kids think about the baby?”

“Nora thinks she’s a real-life baby doll,” Fernando replied with a laugh. “Leo isn’t sure about her. He’s afraid to hold her still. He loves her, but at a distance. He’s afraid to hurt her. We’re working with him about it. What does your little Sergio think about Marco?”

Why did Fernando have to use his childrens’ names? Why couldn’t he just leave them vague, nameless things like Sergio did? He didn’t want Fernando to have a connection to his children. Or maybe it was the fact that he had wanted Fernando’s connection to be strong with his children. He wanted his children to be Fernando’s children. He wondered if he would ever get over that.

“Uh… He’s little, you know? I don’t think he has too many thoughts about it. He doesn’t like sharing his toys, or his mom. That’s about all he knows, I think.”

Fernando nodded, chuckled a little. “Nora was a little like that with Leo too, but she also thought he was a little doll.”

Sergio sat down on the pitch where they were meant to start training soon. The rest of the team was still in the dressing room. Fernando sat beside him, picking at a few blades of grass.

“Sergio…”

“Yeah?”

“Are we… still friends?”

“We’ll always be friends, Nando.” He said it for Fernando’s sake, maybe a little for his own, but he wasn’t sure it was true.

Fernando plucked a few blades, and threw them in front of their feet. “Sergio…”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, you know?”

Sergio hung his head. Why did he have to say that?

“You think I don’t love you?” Sergio asked.

“Sometimes I wonder.”

“I’ve always loved you. You were the first person I ever loved. Don’t be stupid.”

“We haven’t really talked since Nora was born. I don’t know what to think.”

Sergio shrugged. “You were busy. I was busy.”

Fernando pulled his knees up to his chest, and laid his head on them. He’d been stewing about his feelings for Sergio for months now. He loved his family. He loved Olalla. He loved his kids more than anything. But part of his heart had always belong to Sergio. Sometimes, he found himself so filled with regret over losing him, over losing the chance of having a family with him.

“Sergio…”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember when we were young?”

“I’m still young. I remember when you were young, grandpa.”

Fernando almost asked if he referred to Pilar as “grandma” since she was a hundred years older than both of them, but the filter in his brain stopped it from spilling from his lips. “Seriously. Do you remember when we were teenagers?”

Sergio rolled his eyes. “Of course.” He could roll his eyes and put up this front on the outside, but inside he was crumbling. “When they were teenagers” was the best time of his life, barring the births of his children. He did love his children, and he loved Pilar. But Fernando was his first love, the one that he still thought he was supposed to spend his life with. How had that gone so wrong?

“Remember when I used to ask you if you’d changed your mind about having kids?”

“How could I forget? You said once that you weren’t going to say I told you so. Are you going back on that now?”

Fernando shook his head. “I just wonder if you know why I always asked you that.”

“Because you were pushy.”

“You don’t think that.”

“Why, Fernando? Why did you always ask me that?”

“Because I couldn’t ask you what I really wanted to. I was too afraid to ask you if you thought one day that you’d ever want to have kids with me. Especially since you seemed so adamant about never wanting kids. I always wanted kids, Sergio. Always. I wanted a family. I wanted a family with you, but I didn’t think that would ever be possible.”

“So you went off and found someone else to have a family with.”

“What else was I supposed to do?”

“Maybe ask the question you actually meant to ask! It’s a totally different question, and you would have gotten a totally different answer! Maybe not the first time, maybe not when I was fifteen. But when we were older. When you were so happy to tell me that your girlfriend that you were sure you wouldn’t be serious about was going to be your wife, and then that she was pregnant. You should have asked me then, Fernando. You should have asked me to have a family with you before that! I wanted to have a family with you until you went off and had one without me!”

“How was I supposed to know?! You could have told me! It’s not all on me, you know? I didn’t ask, but you didn’t bother to tell either! You could have told me that you wanted to have a family with me. All you kept telling me was that you never wanted kids.”

“I never wanted kids with some woman. I never wanted the ‘normal’ family. I wanted you. I always wanted you. I wanted kids that were _ours_. Fuck. Eventually, I settled. I found Pilar, and she’s good to me. And I do love her, but fuck if I don’t still wish that we could have had a family together. I love the kids I have, but fuck if I don’t wish you were their father too. Fuck if I don’t wish I could love your kids, but it just makes me sad and angry to think of them and your wife and your family. And I hate that. It makes me an asshole.”

“You’re not an asshole, Sergio.”

“I am an asshole, Fernando. We haven’t spoken since your daughter was born, because I can stand the fact that you have a daughter that isn’t also mine. I can’t stand the fact that I had to settle. And I hate the fact that I consider a relationship with a good woman and two beautiful kids settling, because of you. You ruined me, and I can’t hate you for that, because I love you so much.”

“You think I don’t have these feelings too? You think I don’t hate the sight of Pilar on my TV? You think I don’t wish your kids were our kids, and my kids were our kids? You think I don’t feel guilty about that? I love Olalla almost as much as I love you, but not as much. And you think that doesn’t make me feel guilty?! She’s the mother of my children, and I still love you more than her. You ruined me, Sergio, and I can’t hate you for that, because I love you so much, and it’s just as much my fault as it is yours.”

Sergio sighed. “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t think there’s anything we can do, Sergio. We’ve made our lives. I don’t think we can go back on them now that wives, girlfriends, and children are involved. I couldn’t leave Olalla after all this time. I really do love her, and I love our family.”

“I don’t think I would have to leave Pilar. I’ve been wondering if she’s going to leave me. She’s different since we had Marco. She used to be fine with me loving you. She always knew that half of my heart belonged to you. I don’t think she accepts that anymore. She thinks I should be over it by now.”

“Sometimes, I think you should be over it by now. I always wondered how I managed to get you anyway.”

“And I always told you to shut the fuck up, because you’re perfect.”

“That, you did.” Fernando laughed, remembering a young, silly Sergio.

“You have no idea how much I miss your laugh.”

“I miss so much about you, Sese. I can’t even list all of the things.” Fernando shook his head. “I never thought I’d be thirty-two with three kids without you by my side. I always said we’d be together forever, and I really meant it. I really wanted it. I should have worked harder to get it, to keep you.”

“It wasn’t all on you, remember?” Sergio leaned over, and kissed his cheek. “I was an idiot. I should have spoken up, told you what I wanted.”

Fernando flicked away a tear and escaped from his eye. “Do you think we’ll have that life someday, somehow?”

Sergio let out a heavy sigh, and stayed silent for several moments before saying, “I don’t know, Fer. I used to say that I’d never have kids, and look at me now.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You never know what the future might have in store for us.”

 

2019

_It’s twins. A boy and a girl. What are we going to name them?_

_Sese, why are you texting me when you’re sitting across the room?_

_Just seemed like the thing to do._

_Put down the phone, and get over here. The father of your children needs a kiss._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Please leave some comments to let me know how you liked it. It's been ages since I've written a football fic. I'm a little rusty. >_


End file.
